"what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll be TOO cool?" I say as I strap the rocket blasters to my heelys
I don’t find myself unattractive, but I also don’t find myself attractive. I feel like I’m just sort of here, not something that really grabs anyone’s attention. Sort of like a chair. Or maybe a lamp.
Cool tip: Instead of looking up photos of celebrities without clothes on (their bodies look like other naked people’s bodies but their faces look like famous people ???) you should watch The Twilight Zone on Netflix. That way you won’t be violating people’s privacy and dignity like a garbage person, and you’ll be watching one of the greatest achievements in television history.
It’s a win-win.
Guy on train:
I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
*turns up music*
I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
*takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door:
Hey. Leave her alone.
Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
*moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
I can make that happen.
Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.